My husband and I have been so busy lately, which is good and it’s making us happy. We had our first marriage counseling for weeeeks, and it was nice talking. I felt like the only area we really haven’t improved in at all is our sexlife. We have great sex together, but not really very good at foreplay. I am not very good at letting him go down on me, I don’t ask for it enough, and he isn’t super experienced and doesn’t take initiative as much as I would like. Because I am insecure, I need him to be insistent, and take more time for me. We talked about it, and how we are both impatient, we skip foreplay almost everytime, but as a result, it is painful for me for the first five minutes, and I have built up this anguish every time we start, anticipating the pain and making it worse. So, we talked through it and got our homework which was MORE foreplay and him going down on me.
Last night wasn’t a very successful run as I couldn’t even get to come when he was fingering me on my clit, I was so worried that he would get tired, I had trouble focusing, and I was so close to climaxing several times, but I couldn’t. I must have felt too pressured. After a while he did indeed give up, I was discouraging towards him, and eventually he gave in. It upset me as I really need him to insist and make me feel secure that he is going to keep going, so I don’t lie there worrying that he’ll get too tired any moment, and that he will quit. So we had to talk and get through it together and talk through my insecurities. It was good, and although along the way we both got defensive and said silly things, we got to a good point and I felt a hell of a lot better.
Today I was working and got home late, and we grabbed our list and went out to the local Safeway store to buy all the food we need for tomorrow, as you all know, IT’S THANKSGIVING TOMORROW! WHoop whoop!
We ran around the store with a camcorder and recorded the whole silly shopping spree, as it is our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, together on the ACTUAL thanksgiving day, and we are going the whole nine yards cooking a whooole turkey, just for the two of us ha ha. We are going to make it a special celebration/date night as we are not going to be able to spend Christmas eve or day together, as he is working. So this is how it goes, Me; we HAVE to get free range. Him: But this one is cheaper, and it MIGHT be free range. Me: Then why wouldn’t it say free range? Him: we don’t even know if it really is proper free range. They throw that term around nowadays. Me: Come on, just a few dollars difference between TORTURE and running around a little in a slightly bigger cage!
Somehow we ended up with the non free range turkey. Selfishly I’ll try not to worry about that tomorrow as I stuff my face with delicious turkey and stuffing and all the rest. Happy thanksgiving tomorrow everybody! 😊
Are we still married..? 
Free range isn’t all about torture, it’s also about taste… Or rather texture. The more the bird runs, the more muscular it is, thus the better the meat.
Oh who am I kidding, why do I even comment on the turkey?
Foreplay isn’t necessarily him going down on you, it starts with long sessions of making out. Gently brushing your cheek, sliding along your neck, tickling your collarbone, palming your breast, suckling it, leaving kisses trails sown your tummy, kissing just behind your knees (a very erogenous place), see how you react when your nipples are stimulated… Communicate. What you dislike at a certain moment may become pleasant 10 minutes later… and the other way round!
Maybe you should dedicate a session to just foreplay. No sex. The goal of the session is massage, caresses, kisses and more of that. Take time in turns (over a few sessions, once you receive, once he receives) to just discover each other’s body, to see what makes you wet, what makes him hard, what gets you both going. Enjoy those sensations for what they are, take foreplay for a pleasuring goal rather than a step to get there. Use feathers, ice cubes, heat (tea cup?), cream, honey, whatever strikes your fancy. As in life, it’s all about the journey rather than the end goal, so just enjoy the ride. (and then, if after you’ve both thoroughly enjoyed the 30 minutes, 1 hour, 2 hours of foreplay you really feel like coming… well, go ahead 😉
Happy Thanksgiving!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah that’s what our therapist said that we are both too focused on the orgasm. We are quite good at turning each other on, and we do all sorts of things for foreplay, but the reason I focused on him going down on me is because I have major issues with it.
And yeah, that session the other day was what he tried to initiate, a whole session dedicated to just a foreplay kind of thing, but I made it turn into this goal of making it happen for me by touching me, as I felt this enormous need for us to achieve it.
I love the beginning of this comment! ha ha..! I know D, I totally agree! Ha ha. But yeah, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I agree with Savannah. I only had my first real orgasm when I was well into my 30s and had been pregnant a few times. Ok, I wouldn’t want to exchange that again with what I experience now.
But what I realised is that the only way for me to reach an orgasm is to make myself completely vulnerable, to open up, surrender completely. Not to come for ME, but to offer my orgasm to HIM. It’s so much more potent that way. So don’t feel the need to achieve. Achieving great foreplay is a GREAT goal in itself! The rest will come in due time! Which means… PATIENCE 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed, and thank you both!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy Thanksgiving! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, and YOU too! xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope that you enjoyed your turkey and stuffing. We tortured our turkey, slice by delicious slice! 😉
We love playing. It isn’t foreplay…it is just playtime. Will and I have fun. Sometimes we’re joking and giggling and other times, it is slow and sensual. We explore each other and take time to soak each other in. Orgasms come naturally. Never forced.
LikeLiked by 2 people