empty pillbox

Since I moved here I have been taken my medication for my hypothyroidism that I brought from home. I finished the box a few months ago, and my mother sent me another from my last prescription from back home. I finished that box just over two weeks ago, and totally forgot about up until Friday, where I realized that I had been so tired all week. I can’t believe that I have been so irresponsible.

I have felt so heavy, sleepy, yet not really slept well. I have been so tired, and struggling through the days, skipping the gym, and when I went to the gym I only managed 20 min of cardio instead of my regular 40. My husband is constantly asking me if I am okay, as I apparently seem a little down. I have been distant, and disorganized, I’ll plan things ahead before going to work, or interviews or doing whatever task lies ahead, and then I seem to mess it up somehow. I forget things.

I know this sounds silly, but it saddens me that I need medication to function normally. It’s not a big deal and I am so lucky! I am so lucky that it’s only that. Nothing else, I just have to take ONE pill every day for the rest of my life, and yet I managed to mess that up. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I am lucky that I am healthy, it’s just a little depressing. The same sad feeling I get when I take off my contacts at night and realize that without them I am BLIND. I guess it’s the feeling of not being in total control of myself. I love the fact that I make good choices, that I plan ahead, am organized despite my scatty and artistic nature, that I am always on time, and that I am getting into better shape. I don’t drink or smoke, and I don’t do drugs, I don’t want anything interfering with my brain. As I have dealt with all things good and bad, myself, with my own strong mind. Death, sickness, love, friendship, family feuds, failure, poverty. And now, that I don’t have this pill, although things are great and I am trying to be as structured and self-disciplined as usual… It’s harder.

Well, a week from now, I’ll have my pillbox full of my little helping pill, and I’ll be back to the focused, energized self!

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5 thoughts on “empty pillbox

  1. I can’t imagine taking a daily medication, but I realize that for many people it is necessary. I was being prescribed pills for my nightmares, pills for hypertension (profylactic) and cholesterol reduction. I refused them all. My health is excellent and meds would screw it all up.

    Have you investigated naturalpathic solutions for your thyroid meds?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Not super-investigated it, but I have tried two different natural alternatives, and I couldn’t really tell the difference. So who knows? ha ha.
      But the medication is really good I think, I have never felt any side-effects, and they do the job of reminding the hormone to signal the other hormone and bla bla bla. Ha ha.

      I think it’s great that you have rejected the medication! If your health is great, then i think (In most cases, MIND over MEDICINE when it comes to mental health.) Well done.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Glad to hear that you’re trying to figure out what is best for you. Medications can be downright frightening with the known (and the unknown/undocumented) side effects. You know your body and what works for you.

        I am surprised that you have to have your meds sent from your mother. I am betting that is due to your residence status here and that your healthcare coverage is back at home?

        Liked by 1 person

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