Turkey hunting and foreplay

My husband and I have been so busy lately, which is good and it’s making us happy. We had our first marriage counseling for weeeeks, and it was nice talking. I felt like the only area we really haven’t improved in at all is our sexlife. We have great sex together, but not really very good at foreplay. I am not very good at letting him go down on me, I don’t ask for it enough, and he isn’t super experienced and doesn’t take initiative as much as I would like. Because I am insecure, I need him to be insistent, and take more time for me. We talked about it, and how we are both impatient, we skip foreplay almost everytime, but as a result, it is painful for me for the first five minutes, and I have built up this anguish every time we start, anticipating the pain and making it worse. So, we talked through it and got our homework which was MORE foreplay and him going down on me.

Last night wasn’t a very successful run as I couldn’t even get to come when he was fingering me on my clit, I was so worried that he would get tired, I had trouble focusing, and I was so close to climaxing several times, but I couldn’t. I must have felt too pressured. After a while he did indeed give up, I was discouraging towards him, and eventually he gave in. It upset me as I really need him to insist and make me feel secure that he is going to keep going, so I don’t lie there worrying that he’ll get too tired any moment, and that he will quit. So we had to talk and get through it together and talk through my insecurities. It was good, and although along the way we both got defensive and said silly things, we got to a good point and I felt a hell of a lot better.

Today I was working and got home late, and we grabbed our list and went out to the local Safeway store to buy all the food we need for tomorrow, as you all know, IT’S THANKSGIVING TOMORROW! WHoop whoop!

We ran around the store with a camcorder and recorded the whole silly shopping spree, as it is our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, together on the ACTUAL thanksgiving day, and we are going the whole nine yards cooking a whooole turkey, just for the two of us ha ha. We are going to make it a special celebration/date night as we are not going to be able to spend Christmas eve or day together, as he is working.  So this is how it goes,  Me; we HAVE to get free range. Him: But this one is cheaper, and it MIGHT be free range. Me: Then why wouldn’t it say free range? Him: we don’t even know if it really is proper free range. They throw that term around nowadays. Me: Come on, just  a few dollars difference between TORTURE and running around a little in a slightly bigger cage!

Somehow we ended up with the non free range turkey. Selfishly I’ll try not to worry about that tomorrow as I stuff my face with delicious turkey and stuffing and all the rest. Happy thanksgiving tomorrow everybody! 😊

Advertisements

Nighttime sexytime failure

What a negative headline, you may think, and at the end of the post you may think that I Am indeed looking at the negative rather than all the positives. It has been a successful funday Sunday. And like a stupid joke, as the clock strikes twelve and Sunday turns to Monday, my luck turns too.

Are we still married? Yeah.

After a successful matinee show, having struggled through the whole play being sleepy and unfocused, I rejected my theater friends’ Sunday-traditional outing, wanting to go home, to rest and spend time with my husband. We immediately went grocery shopping, got dinner, watched our favorite shows and had a short but sweet sex session, before we pigged out some more with ice cream until we barely could move. The Sex, was good, but very very short, my husband tried to tease me for a little while which does indeed help me, it makes me wetter and it makes the first few minutes less painful. But I had an inkling that I wouldn’t get much out of it while we started as we were both in a lazy mood so I got my vibrator and had a nice quick orgasm while we were making out and I watched him touch himself. We then did a little bit of one of our fantasies, him being a young student and me his teacher, and yeah he played his role well as he came after a MINUTE. He wasn’t really holding back as I’m assuming he thought it was okay to cum early since I had already had my fix. He was a little embarrassed however and his teacher comforted him by saying; “That’s normal for young boys.. not to worry. And the good news is, your big cock will be ready to go again later..” And we snuggled and watched tv.

He fell asleep, and I was watching a movie, reading some blogs, then I got horny and thought I’d sneak over to his bed and wake him up pleasantly being naked and luring him into having sex with me. I’ve attempted this before ( four months ago) and it didn’t end very well. He was so sleepy and got grumpy and rejected me pretty harshly, and  I took it pretty badly. We have discussed it many times, and he insists that that wont happen again, and there is NO way he would reject me if he woke up with me blowing him in the middle of the night. And GOD knows how many times he has woken ME up when I was sleeping or Just about to sleep. But my attempt tonight AGAIN… failed. Miserably.

I started stroking him and he woke up, moved away and said I was so hot. I got a little upset but tried not to take it too seriously as he had insisted before that it would work. I try again, kissing hm and stroking, he turned around and made a grunt, ad I said “don’t you wanna cuddle?” and he replied; “No, Let me sleep.” And rolled over. I moved back over to the futon. After I had cried for a while, he asked is I was okay. I didn’t answer. He said it was nothing personal, and that he thought we should sleep as we have to get up early tomorrow. Yeah.. I have to get up at 6:30 and he has to get up at 11. And here I am. Quarter past one, writing.. while he is sleeping away.

Quiet monday

So… we are not talking now..? At all?

Today My husband went to school around noon, and I went to the beach with a good friend of mine, (a male friend) and had a blast catching up together, about life, ambitions, news, his girlfriend, my husband, all that stuff. I KNOW WHAT YOU MIGHT THINK, but NO, seriously, I am not one of those stupid women that THINK that they have a platonic friendship with a guy, who ACTUALLY would jump at the word ‘GO’ to bang you. I know those kind of guys, and I don’t entertain friendships with them now that I am married. My friend is a good buddy, and he isn’t like that. He respects our marriage, and we don’t fancy each other that way at all. That much was clear after we slept together that one time years ago, and never did it again. – We went for lunch and talked for a while more, then he drove me home and invited me and the husband to a game night down the street with some friends of ours.

I came home to my husband who hugged me and greeted me kind of nicely, but there was a sort of distance there, right from the start. We chatted while snuggling in bed, and I could tell that he was in that jealous grumpy mood, but nicely tried to remain neutral and relatively positive. Anyway, he politely rejected the game night offer, (like I knew he would) And we decided to go to Walmart to get some dinner and to look for a top mattress for our bed, as I’ve been sleeping really badly and had back problems and a stiff body. I also suggested to get me a water bottle, as the water in my plastic bottle got so hot at the beach today even though I kept it in the shade, in the bag, I was worried the plastic would kind of melt into the water etc. He was skeptical already then, and said, ‘Yeah if you think the juice is worth the squeeze’. At the moment he is the only one working, so I wanted his opinion, although I wasn’t planning on buying like a really expensive bottle.

We strolled to Walmart hand in hand, chatting away, but as soon as we entered the store, tension rose, as it usually does as he gets uncomfortable and very task focused. He is impatient, and hates when people are walking slowly in front of us. And he doesn’t like it when I don’t take the shopping seriously, and suggest things, and look at things that aren’t on the list. He stood for a while and looked at some different razors, picked one and got a shower sponge, we kept walking around a bit, I was teasing him a little, and stroking his back, which I know he likes. Then as I was talking away about stuff I could feel the interest decrease and the irritation building slightly, so I shut up for a while, until we got further into the store. He was trying to find mattresses, and on the way I sort of walked off towards this cool offer of painting stuff. As I could imagine he would think to himself ‘We are looking for a mattress for HER and she’s just flying around in lala land.’ I hurried and fount him. There were no cheap mattresses, but there was  a good foam one, which was like $113 , and I just saw his negative face, I was reading it and checking it out and he started waling. I said, ‘how much money do you want to spend on it?’ ‘Not that much money’. Then we kept walking towards the shelf with bottles. And as I spent kind of a while looking at the different types of bottles, none of them were exactly what I wanted, but they were like $7, and I’ve been drinking out of the same plastic smart water bottle for months, and even though I clean it it’s looking like shit. I asked him what he thought as he was standing there loosing his patience, ‘Which one should I get?’ ‘Well they don’t have the things that you said that you needed them for.’ I kept looking for a while, but I was getting stressed out feeling his eyes burning my neck, then I just said, let’s go. And put the bottles back. We paid, walked back home, cooked dinner, saying almost NOTHING, not asking one another what is the matter, I did all the dishes, he was laying on the couch watching tv, said nothing, and is still saying nothing.

Now he is brushing his teeth. I have a feeling that if I don’t say anything, LIKE I ALWAYS DO, nothing will be said, and he will soon lay down and say, ‘goodnight.’ And I will lay down to sleep later with fury in my belly.