Turkey hunting and foreplay

My husband and I have been so busy lately, which is good and it’s making us happy. We had our first marriage counseling for weeeeks, and it was nice talking. I felt like the only area we really haven’t improved in at all is our sexlife. We have great sex together, but not really very good at foreplay. I am not very good at letting him go down on me, I don’t ask for it enough, and he isn’t super experienced and doesn’t take initiative as much as I would like. Because I am insecure, I need him to be insistent, and take more time for me. We talked about it, and how we are both impatient, we skip foreplay almost everytime, but as a result, it is painful for me for the first five minutes, and I have built up this anguish every time we start, anticipating the pain and making it worse. So, we talked through it and got our homework which was MORE foreplay and him going down on me.

Last night wasn’t a very successful run as I couldn’t even get to come when he was fingering me on my clit, I was so worried that he would get tired, I had trouble focusing, and I was so close to climaxing several times, but I couldn’t. I must have felt too pressured. After a while he did indeed give up, I was discouraging towards him, and eventually he gave in. It upset me as I really need him to insist and make me feel secure that he is going to keep going, so I don’t lie there worrying that he’ll get too tired any moment, and that he will quit. So we had to talk and get through it together and talk through my insecurities. It was good, and although along the way we both got defensive and said silly things, we got to a good point and I felt a hell of a lot better.

Today I was working and got home late, and we grabbed our list and went out to the local Safeway store to buy all the food we need for tomorrow, as you all know, IT’S THANKSGIVING TOMORROW! WHoop whoop!

We ran around the store with a camcorder and recorded the whole silly shopping spree, as it is our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, together on the ACTUAL thanksgiving day, and we are going the whole nine yards cooking a whooole turkey, just for the two of us ha ha. We are going to make it a special celebration/date night as we are not going to be able to spend Christmas eve or day together, as he is working.  So this is how it goes,  Me; we HAVE to get free range. Him: But this one is cheaper, and it MIGHT be free range. Me: Then why wouldn’t it say free range? Him: we don’t even know if it really is proper free range. They throw that term around nowadays. Me: Come on, just  a few dollars difference between TORTURE and running around a little in a slightly bigger cage!

Somehow we ended up with the non free range turkey. Selfishly I’ll try not to worry about that tomorrow as I stuff my face with delicious turkey and stuffing and all the rest. Happy thanksgiving tomorrow everybody! 😊

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Marriage councelling calms the storm

THIS IS THE POST I STARTED WRITING LAST WEEK THAT WASN’T SAVED…

 

Today I woke up from the outrageously loud construction from outside our building. (ARE WE REALLY PAYING A FULL MONTHS RENT !?) It has been going on every few days for a month now, and is SO annoying. I couldn’t get to sleep for a looong ass time, and I didn’t need to be woken up like that.

However, no nightmares. I was calm. Put on a bit of BBC’s old fashioned Crime series, while waking up for email checks etc. Hearing the English accents and seeing the countryside makes me feel good, and as I checked my emails, I was delighted to find that my job that I’ve had in the fire a long time, the one that has been really unsure has come through! Ahhhh Im gonna make money!!! I was so happy! I texted my husband as he was already in school and he sent supportive messages. I sent out receipts, made some calls, emailed here and there, did some paperwork and lesson plans, feeling good. Finally being able to do those things I tried to do yesterday but couldn’t because I was retardedly (sorry if this word offends someone) dysfunctional, practically speaking.

I felt better about my niece. I know her. She is strong. She is tough. She has survived so far. I felt more rational. As the husband came home, sweaty and wet from cycling home in the rain, grumpy as he didn’t want to shuffle off again right away to our marriage counseling, and his belly growling from hunger, I immediately got stressed out by his vibes, and although he didn’t say anything bad, his mood still affects me. Less now than it did when I first moved in, but I know how to avoid it getting worse, by shutting up, and making sure I am out of his way. We shuffle out, go downstairs, and meet our housing manager. He stops to talk to us about this recent ‘event’ that happened between me and my neighbor. This is what happened.

I had my sister in law and baby nephew visiting and our neighbors, that moved in a month ago, replacing a drug addict couple that fought ALL the time, were, GUESS WHAT, – fighting. As I said bye to them in the hallway, my sister in law told me to call the housing manager or the police, their door was cracked open and it was loud. It sounded like he was slapping her. They left and I decided, NO, I haven’t met them yet, and I feel like giving anyone a fair chance, I’ll knock on their door, introduce myself, and politely say that they were being quite loud.

THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING WAS DELETED SO – LUCKILY FOR YOU, I AM TOO LAZY TO WRITE ALL OF IT, AND WILL SUMMARIZE IT. SEEING NOW HOW LONG THIS POST ALREADY IS, MAYBE IT WAS ALL FOR THE BEST… HA HA HA.

The neighbor came out and was pretty grumpy, he was LITERALLY wearing a wife-beater (those white tank-tops) and he listened to what I had to say quietly with a “What the fuck” expression, and as he didn’t say anything I kept going.. Then he shouted inside to his wife, ” Our neighbor want’s to know what we are doing in here!” I said quickly “No, no! That’s not what I meant, I just wanted to…” And before I could say anything else, ALL sorts of typical women-bashing profanity was thrown in my face, Which in itself was disturbing, but then he said something RACIST, YES one can be racist against white people, and that’s what happened to me, and THIS was what made me go INSANE. Well, quietly and rationally so… I tried to explain over and over, as the wife came out and asked me what was the problem, if the TV was too loud, She was holding him back as he was verbally attacking me. I told them that I would call the housing manager, and he shouted to “Go fucking call the manager then!” And I did. Our lazy shitty manager was somewhere else, but said he would be back in 30 min. He never came. I locked my door and sat there and texted my husband all night…

On our way to the Counselor, we met the housing manager and it had been over a week, and he had said this and that to me, my husband and sister-in-law on different occasions, and to them he had even said that the guy was going to apologize within two weeks.. Which is weird… within two weeks? Okay… but then we met him, and he made us late for our appointment as he is so slow at getting to the point, which was; The guy was NOT going to apologize, because he HADN’T shouted at me, and I had knocked on THEIR door. This infuriated me, AS IF I would get away with saying something RACIST towards ANYONE WHO ISN’T WHITE, in this case, this oriental guy, this piece of shit, had just gotten away with it, no problem. YEAH, next time I will call the cops. ARRGHHHH…. Fury bubbling through me as we discussed it with the counselor. But it helped to talk about it.

AND THAT IS HOW SHE CALMED THE STORM… Ha ha. Sorry about this. Any thoughts on this neighbor attack!? Was I ludicrously naive to introduce myself to a new neighbor who did indeed sound from the outside like he was under the influence? Should I put down my refusal to be the kind of human being that WANTS to make things work between HUMANS, by conversing face to face, interacting and being a NEIGHBOR!?