“one of us has to work”

It’s never nice to hear that.

No, after having my employment authorization card for a month, I still haven’t got a job. Although I have two very good opportunities up my sleeve.  I think I might have two well paid jobs soon, and I am very excited about it, so I don’t have to feel guilty and inadequate all the time.

Oh my husband has been super supportive, as he is studying and working as a server, and we are basically living off his tips, he is working very hard and doing very well. He didn’t however do all of this for ME. It’s not like I asked him to move his world and leave everyone behind and start over. It’s not like he has changed his life at ALL. He would be doing the exact same thing if i wasn’t here. Yeah, he could spend more of his hard earned money on more stuff from Amazon, but hey, he wouldn’t get laid every day and a Blow Job several times a week.

He will say, when I tell him that I feel guilty and stressed, that I shouldn’t think that way and that he doesn’t, but then when I am irritating him wanting some attention while he is sitting down with his Fantasy Football league, he’ll turn around and say; “I’m tired babe, One of us has to work.” I told him I didn’t like him saying that, but then he said; ” It’s true, and I want it to be acknowledged. I need you to respect that.”

Yeah, so I had a lazy day today, where I sat on the couch writing, researching and watching TV, masturbating now and then and having a jolly good time. But I also sold our cooler on Craigslist, got it picked up, and made cash, Cooked dinner and went to the gym. and I remarked on having a nice day off from the theater and it looking like he had a Pajama party all day, and his attitude changed as soon as I said that, and I KNOW that THAT was what made him say that. If I hadn’t said anything, which I did to show appreciation that I can do that, he never would have thought of it, and used that excuse. I do understand and respect if he is tired, and I would back off if he tells me that, but DON’T use that JOB argument.

And just as I wrote this, he asked if I was mad at him and I promptly and irritably replied yes, he came over, and I said that I understood that he is tired, and I can respect that and he can do what he wants, but don’t expect me to NOT feel guilty and stressed out when he uses that argument, he apologized and said it wasn’t really about me, but about him. We sorted it out quickly and sweetly… And Now I sit here smiling, beaming, watching him play Madden.


5 thoughts on ““one of us has to work”

  1. Ah… I’ve been the person who was told time and again I wasn’t the one who brought the money to support the family. Not that I was given much of a chance to work, being moved around to a different country every few years. Even when I did work, the kind of money I made was never anything that could compare or compete with what he made.
    There are a few differences between my experience and yours. And none as big as the fact we were never able to work it out. After 20+ years of being made to feel like I wasn’t enough, like I wasn’t pulling my share of the work, I gave up. He now lives on his own. And I’m free from the constant belittlement.
    I’m happy to see that you managed to talk about it and how it made you feel. I wish I’d been able to do that better. And he’d been able to hear me when I did without feeling that I was disregarding what he did for our family, because I always tried to remember that he worked hard to provide for us.
    Ah, sorry for the long comment… my experience is still a little bit raw, I still need to write it down often, and your post triggered some not so pleasant memories for me. 😦
    It’s Ok though, I need to work through them, so thank you for showing me that there could have been a different outcome if he had tried a bit harder too…

    Liked by 1 person

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