Turn the volume down

My husband, God bless his soul, I love him but jeez what an absolute retard he can be sometimes. He is just the worst communicator ever! He has come really far since I got here to be fair, he has improved in so many areas, and I wonder in which areas I’ve improved in and if I have at all. But holy moly, he pisses me off so fucking much sometimes. We were watching the London 2012 olympic seremony, (Since he hadn’t see it)  which, you know, I guess it takes a special person to be interested in something like that, but I LOVE it, and he agreed to see it as we had talked about it the other day. We were watching it and I had the sound on too loud and he got worried, as we live in an apartment building and we’ve had complains before *about loud sex*, he asked me to turn it down, and I did, but I turned it up and down as the volume of the show increased and decreased, but it was still too loud. He thought he heard the security guard walk by and checked. After a while he just put himself to bed without saying a word. So I just turned the whole thing off, and he didn’t say a thing. For like 15 minutes. Then I said, ‘Aren’t you gonna say anything?’ then he said ‘Im stressed out, so I am just trying to relax.’ ‘Why?’ Because of the noise,’ ‘Noise? What noise?’ ‘The noise from the tv, it was really loud.’ To be fair, it was, and I was stupid not to think about it more carefully. But I still couldn’t help being bothered by the way he handled it.

He calls me over to bed to talk about it after I apologize from the couch. Then we do, and at first he is nice, trying to cheer me up. I cry because I miss home, I miss England. Then after talking a while, he gets a little mean and accuses me of not being sensitive to what he wanted to watch. I verify the sense in it but argue with the fact that he didn’t say anything contrary. Then he got rather nasty and said that he didn’t want to watch a FUCKING hour of that, and he HOPED that that would be understandable. I cried but tried to follow our marriage counselors communication technique ‘So what I hear you saying..’ at first when I started I was trying to just get through it, and as he turned to touch me and touched my thigh in the the dark, I said sternly, DON’T TOUCH ME> And continued with the apology process. When I was done, he said thank you but clearly didn’t have anything else to say, so now I am here, sitting on the couch again, while he is sleeping away. I’ve cried a bit, now I’m over it. I still miss home. And I’m still annoyed. If he doesn’t apologize too, then it doesn’t work. I’ll sleep here instead, the couch is more comfortable anyway.


Am I being a dick?


3 thoughts on “Turn the volume down

  1. No, you’re not. Communication is a two way street.
    I’ll have to leave your blog soon, time to go to bed on my side of the Atlantic.
    But I’ll be following your adventures, hoping I can give some comfort from time to time, and encouragements at other times. Having lived the expat life for quite a while, feel free to ask me about it.


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